Let's start with a definiton of the velcro baby?
According to Pinky McKay, International Board Certified Lactation Consultant, Parenting Editor, Author, Infant Massage Instructor and mother of five children, "A velcro baby is clingy, fussy, high need – she doesn’t give a damn about the labels. Unless she’s attached to you (constantly), she yells!"
Thanks Pinky, you have summed up Little Sister (LS)nicely! All she wants is Mommy, Mommy, Mommy! And, while that is all very sweet and quite wonderful to be so loved by my newly adopted daughter, it's not so good for me personally as it is nearly impossible to do anything with a little one clinging so tightly all day especially squeezing the life out of my fingers.
This week, I finally decided to take the advice of my pediatrician and a few friends and start letting LS cry it out a bit. We have been home for nearly three months now and it's time that she begin to let Mommy have a little freedom.
Let me back up by stating that before this week, I would literally spend my entire day either carrying LS around or having her grab onto me (sometimes in inappropriate places) as I was forced to follow her from room to room or up and down the stairs until her little feet tired.
So, this week, I started by telling LS that her mommy needed a break. I started with five minutes. For those precious five minutes, I sat down and did not move. LS wasn't thrilled and moaned a bit about it before playing on her own. The next day, I took a ten minute break and today, I was bold enough to take thirty full minutes. Twenty five of them were spent witnessing LS have a full-blown temperature tantrum.
Am I a terrible mother for putting my sweet baby through twenty five minutes of torment? Well, let's see the outcome:
Tonight, for the first time ever, one hour before bedtime, LS played with her big sister (BS) without tugging on Mommy. Every once in a while, she would come over and hug me, but she did not tug or pull. It was wonderful!
The icing on the cake happened minutes before bedtime when I picked her up to carry her off to bed and she suddenly kissed me on my lips as if to say, "I love you Mom."
What more can I say? Progress has been made today. Let's hope it continues tomorrow.
2 comments:
Sounds like it worked well! In our stressed-crazed society, I think a really great gift we can give our kids is to teach them how to take time for themselves. I think it's important for kids to see their parents reading the paper, sipping a cup of tea, or in my case reading blogs.
We've been home 3 months also. While my daughter doesn't cling every waking moment, she is much clingier than my older daughter ever was. This is all new to me!
I keep telling myself, "well, at least she's bonding well!" :) She too has had her moments that she's just had to cry because mom needs a break.
You certainly are not a bad mother for not wanting to be chained to LS during every waking moment. Good for you for being willing to let her cry a bit and teach her she'll be just fine not stuck to you!
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