Easing the Teasing

My aunt recently sent me this excellent book, Easing the Teasing, written by Judy S. Freedman. As both a teacher and parent, I was curious about the title and dove right into the text, reading chapter after chapter and highlighting important points along the way. Here are some things that grabbed my attention:

*There are two kinds of teasing:

- having fun with someone you like
- making fun of someone in a hurtful way


*What's the difference between teasing and bullying:

- Bullying is characterized by repeated, consistent attacks whereas teasing may
be an occasional thing.

*What's the big deal about teasing?

- It can make your child feel "diminished, demeaned, devalued and somehow
unacceptable."

*The top 10 reasons why children are teased:

1) Appearance
2) Abilities - physical and intellectual
3) Identity - gender, race, religion, culture
4) Behavior
5) Family circumstances
6) Possessions
7) Opinions
8) Names
9) Feelings
10) Friends

*Can your child turn to teachers for help?

- That's a good place to start, but Freedman states, "Many adults, including
teachers and school administrators, believe teasing falls into the catagory of
kids being kids and that it's just a part of growing up."

*How to talk to your child about what can be done:

- Express confidence in your child's ability to handle the situation.
- Ask what your child wants to do.
- Be realistic.
- Teach your child strategies that work.


As a former middle school teacher and kid myself, I know that teasing whatever the form may be, hurts! Kids will tell you that you are too short, too tall, too fat or too thin. The list goes on and on. My oldest daughter, (Big Sister) was teased for the first time this year on the playground at preschool. Three girls whom she still considers friends, approached her on the first cold day of the year and belittled her for not having a pink coat like they had. At first, my happy-go-lucky girl shrugged it off and said, "It's okay, I like my coat," but they kept on with unkind remarks such as, "We aren't going to be your friend anymore because you are different." Big Sister started crying. At five, friendship means everything to her. She desperately wants to be liked and accepted by her peers. Her teacher went over and made the girls apologize. After that, everything went back to 'normal.' The situation still bothers me though because she was attacked for not having a pink coat. What happens when the same mean girls notice that her skin tone is different or that her eyes don't look like theirs. Will they further persecute her? Maybe yes, maybe no! I'm happy to have read this well-informed book which lets me know that teasing is universal and the very best thing a parent can do for their child is to talk openly about the topic to them and teach them strategies for handling such scenarios. If you haven't read it, I highly recommend taking a peek! It's worth the read and could potentially help your child in the future.