Monday, October 29, 2007

When Adults Don't Listen to Children

Yesterday, Big Sister (BS) told me that a little boy in her preschool class has been spitting on her during lineup. She wasn't upset about it as much as she was confused wondering does he like me or not? At the age of nearly five, it's difficult to distinguish between good playing around and inappropriate conduct on the part of your peers. I wrote a note to her teacher this morning asking her to look into the situation for me and intervene when possible.

When I went to see her this afternoon, she told me that she got my note and told BS that she should come to her and let her know if something like that happens. Then she proceeded to tell me that BS came over to her several times today with "minor problems and tattling." I proceeded to tell her about Saturday's misadventure with the evil twins when she looked me in the eye and had the nerve to ask me if I saw it happen. I explained that I didn't see it happen, but I did see the girls laugh and point at my daughter following her over to the next moon bounce and that they did later admit to hitting her. The teacher said, "Oh, because sometimes kids exaggerate. You need to make sure she's not exaggerating."

I left the school today quite upset with this teacher's attitude. We are talking about my child, not some kid who is known to tell lies on a regular basis. This is not the first time I have encountered blase attitudes about bullying. As a former middle school teacher, I witnessed it first-hand all the time. Bullies will continue to get away with their behavior because teachers and administrators continually look the other way. I have heard on more than one occasion that kids who are bullied need to "suck it up and learn how to fight their own battles." This is the reality of life as we know it.

I never thought Big Sister would ever have a problem in school since she is very social, sweet and smart, but tomorrow afternoon, I am taking her to a Tao Kwan Do (sp)trial class.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ashley,

I think you are right about this. You know your daughter and you know if she usually tells the truth. You might want to see if Big Sister has more trouble than this with this kid/teacher. I think the early years really set our children up to love or dislike school. How wise you are to listen to and believe your child until she proves you should not (hopefully never!)

desirae said...

Hi, I found your blog when searching for preschool and spitting. My son recently had the same problem as your daughter. There was another child spitting on him. I had a talk with his teacher, and luckily she is extremely nice, and did not look the other way. In fact she caught the culprit spitting on another child that exact same day!! I hope things are much improved for your daughter now, and that someone took action against the bullying.