Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
IT'S A NO FOR TAE KWAN DO
Big Sister tried out her free Tae Kwan Do class today and told me explicitly that it was not for her. I told her she was brave to try something new and didn't ever have to go back unless she wants to someday.
This whole experience has shown me one positive thing... at least I know that Little Sister will probably be able to handle herself in any situation. She has a secret weapon known as the 5 Alarm Scream. We often joke in my family that no one will ever try to steal LS because her screaming will scare them off. All that being said, we are having a good week with minor meltdowns. The Early Intervention team will be here next week to evaluate her and set-up a plan of action.
This whole experience has shown me one positive thing... at least I know that Little Sister will probably be able to handle herself in any situation. She has a secret weapon known as the 5 Alarm Scream. We often joke in my family that no one will ever try to steal LS because her screaming will scare them off. All that being said, we are having a good week with minor meltdowns. The Early Intervention team will be here next week to evaluate her and set-up a plan of action.
Monday, October 29, 2007
When Adults Don't Listen to Children
Yesterday, Big Sister (BS) told me that a little boy in her preschool class has been spitting on her during lineup. She wasn't upset about it as much as she was confused wondering does he like me or not? At the age of nearly five, it's difficult to distinguish between good playing around and inappropriate conduct on the part of your peers. I wrote a note to her teacher this morning asking her to look into the situation for me and intervene when possible.
When I went to see her this afternoon, she told me that she got my note and told BS that she should come to her and let her know if something like that happens. Then she proceeded to tell me that BS came over to her several times today with "minor problems and tattling." I proceeded to tell her about Saturday's misadventure with the evil twins when she looked me in the eye and had the nerve to ask me if I saw it happen. I explained that I didn't see it happen, but I did see the girls laugh and point at my daughter following her over to the next moon bounce and that they did later admit to hitting her. The teacher said, "Oh, because sometimes kids exaggerate. You need to make sure she's not exaggerating."
I left the school today quite upset with this teacher's attitude. We are talking about my child, not some kid who is known to tell lies on a regular basis. This is not the first time I have encountered blase attitudes about bullying. As a former middle school teacher, I witnessed it first-hand all the time. Bullies will continue to get away with their behavior because teachers and administrators continually look the other way. I have heard on more than one occasion that kids who are bullied need to "suck it up and learn how to fight their own battles." This is the reality of life as we know it.
I never thought Big Sister would ever have a problem in school since she is very social, sweet and smart, but tomorrow afternoon, I am taking her to a Tao Kwan Do (sp)trial class.
When I went to see her this afternoon, she told me that she got my note and told BS that she should come to her and let her know if something like that happens. Then she proceeded to tell me that BS came over to her several times today with "minor problems and tattling." I proceeded to tell her about Saturday's misadventure with the evil twins when she looked me in the eye and had the nerve to ask me if I saw it happen. I explained that I didn't see it happen, but I did see the girls laugh and point at my daughter following her over to the next moon bounce and that they did later admit to hitting her. The teacher said, "Oh, because sometimes kids exaggerate. You need to make sure she's not exaggerating."
I left the school today quite upset with this teacher's attitude. We are talking about my child, not some kid who is known to tell lies on a regular basis. This is not the first time I have encountered blase attitudes about bullying. As a former middle school teacher, I witnessed it first-hand all the time. Bullies will continue to get away with their behavior because teachers and administrators continually look the other way. I have heard on more than one occasion that kids who are bullied need to "suck it up and learn how to fight their own battles." This is the reality of life as we know it.
I never thought Big Sister would ever have a problem in school since she is very social, sweet and smart, but tomorrow afternoon, I am taking her to a Tao Kwan Do (sp)trial class.
Sunday, October 28, 2007
A Warning to Protect Your Child
Yesterday afternoon, I took my two daughters to a Halloween festival in a nearby community center. The event was well coordinated with both indoor and outdoor activities including games, arts and crafts and even a few rides. We began our exploration by walking around outside where my older daughter, Big Sister (BS) noticed several moon walks, you know those inflatable things that kids like to jump in? The first one that caught her eye was shaped like an airplane. She really wanted to go in so I let her. My mistake! She came running out crying 2 minutes later saying that two girls started verbally abusing her, calling her a "Baby" and punching her in the stomach. I was outraged, but remained calm on the outside. I asked her to show me the two girls (still inside) when she saw them again.
My mistake was letting my child go inside something that was enclosed. I couldn't see her or protect her.
Next, my daughter wanted to go on the pumpkin-shaped moon walk which was very open and had a monitor carefully watching the children. As she stood in line, two little girls (twins)approached, around the age of 6-7, completely unsupervised, pointing and laughing at my daughter. I went up to them, kneeled down to their level and said, "Do you see that litle girl over there? She is my daughter and don't you dare hit her again." I asked them if they understood. With that, they took off running. I looked over at BS who gave me the thumbs up and smiled.
We continued to enjoy the festivities, but when it was time to go, we spotted the twins again eating cotton candy and standing with a man, presumably their father. I heard them say, "Theres the little girl." The man heard and said, "Oh, do you know that little girl?" That's when I stepped in and said, "Yes, they do know her. They were hitting her before in the airplane moon bounce." The man seemed surprised, reprimanded them and made them apologize. I thanked him and walked away.
Lessons learned: Never let your child go inside anything alone unless you can clearly see them from the outside.
My mistake was letting my child go inside something that was enclosed. I couldn't see her or protect her.
Next, my daughter wanted to go on the pumpkin-shaped moon walk which was very open and had a monitor carefully watching the children. As she stood in line, two little girls (twins)approached, around the age of 6-7, completely unsupervised, pointing and laughing at my daughter. I went up to them, kneeled down to their level and said, "Do you see that litle girl over there? She is my daughter and don't you dare hit her again." I asked them if they understood. With that, they took off running. I looked over at BS who gave me the thumbs up and smiled.
We continued to enjoy the festivities, but when it was time to go, we spotted the twins again eating cotton candy and standing with a man, presumably their father. I heard them say, "Theres the little girl." The man heard and said, "Oh, do you know that little girl?" That's when I stepped in and said, "Yes, they do know her. They were hitting her before in the airplane moon bounce." The man seemed surprised, reprimanded them and made them apologize. I thanked him and walked away.
Lessons learned: Never let your child go inside anything alone unless you can clearly see them from the outside.
Saturday, October 27, 2007
10 Things I Love About Autumn
Written by Big Sister:
1) The way the leaves look all brightly colored
2) The sound leaves make when I step on them
3) The weather feels just right, not too hot or cold
4) Trick or Treating on Halloween
5) Celebrating my birthday!
6) Visiting a pumpkin path
7) Having Thanksgiving dinner with my family
8) Eating pumpkin pie
9) Fun school (fall-related) projects
10) The smell of pinecones
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Making strides with my velcro baby
We have been home with Little Sister (LS) for five months now. For 24 long months leading up to our adoption day, I had prayed, wished, hoped and dreamed of this child, a sweet, calm Mei-Mei. Our older daughter (Big Sister) has always been a happy, yet highly active child. In my prayers, I asked God to send me a calmer little girl, one to counter-balance Big Sister. Excitedly, I even discovered that the name we had chosen for her meant "Trees near the water." I remember thinking how serene and lovely that sounded. Did I get a calm child you may wonder? The answer is yes and no.
LS was without question the saddest little girl I had ever laid eyes on when I met her. During our China trip, she didn't sleep more than 4-5 hours a night. Rather, she would begin screaming at the idea of bedtime. Something about going to bed at night greatly disturbed her. We asked our facilitator to call the orphanage and see if they could help, but instead, they laughed it off, saying there weren't any problems or maybe I was just an inexperienced mother. Later, I discovered that my daughter had a crib mate and cannot sleep without her blankie. Why couldn't her nanny take the time to tell me this information or send along her precious blanket. I would have gladly purchased ten new blankets in place of the old one.
During the day, LS was calm and relaxed, but at night, she changed into a inconsolable child screaming on top of her lungs as though her body were engulfed in flames. The memory of these episodes still rattles me. I will admit that I was not prepared for this child or situation. During the excruciatingly long wait for this baby, I had been glued to my computer, longing for the latest gossip about when the next batch of referrals would be coming out and reading stories from mothers who had joyous "Gotcha Days" with happy, smiling babies. I wondered why God gave me this particular child. God doesn't make mistakes my friends tried to reassure me. Still, I felt so completely overwhelmed.
Fast forward, five months later. LS still has her issues, including delayed speech, sensory integration disorder (as diagnosed by our pediatrician) and temper tantrums that lead to more screaming, yet this beautiful little person is making progress every day. The greatest miracle for me has been to see her relax, learn to trust and learn how to be happy. When she laughs, it's like seeing a flower blossoming from bud to full bloom. She knows that she is home now. She knows that every time her belly is hungry, Mama will feed her. Every time, she lays to down to sleep, she knows that her blankie is with her and that no one will take it away. She knows that she is loved. My older daughter came to me rather easily with an easy transition. LS was different. She came to me and said, non-verbally of course, "Mama, fight for me. Fight to save my life." I'm here precious daughter. I'm here.
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